Shit Disturber Coffee™ • Wake The Fuck Cup • Cameroon Single-Origin Coffee


Size: 12oz
Roast: Light
Grind: Whole Bean
Price:
$14.99

-Shit Disturber Coffee™ • Wake The Fuck Cup • Cameroon Single-Origin Coffee

  • Maybe your coworkers suck.
  • Maybe your job sucks.
  • Maybe the whole fucking world sucks.
  • Maybe it's you that sucks.

But you know what doesn't have to suck? Your fucking coffee. Hell, it better not suck, since that dirty brown bean juice is the only thing keeping you from poking extra holes in your fellow humans' faces. If your coffee does suck, you need to un-fuck that situation, post haste. Get yourself some Shit Disturber Coffee™.

We could blow a lot of sunshine up your ass with flowery prose about the painstaking care we take in roasting the beans, but that's not going to quiet those voices in your head; the only way to do that is by drinking coffee. You know it, we know it, everybody knows it. So buy that shit, brew that shit, drink that shit, and let a world full of suck roll right on by, with your new-found sense of peace. Wake the Fuck Cup™ now.

More about this Shit Disturber™ Cameroon Single-Origin Coffee: Ever been to Cameroon? We'll bet you haven't. But if you have, then you probably know that the agricultural conditions in that rich, storied sub-Saharan nation are fucking perfect for growing coffee. That said, maybe it's time to go sub-Saharan with regards to where the fuck you get your coffee.

FAQ:
Q: Is this shit coffee? 
A: Yes, this shit is definitely coffee. It's good fucking coffee, at that. We're also roasting and shipping your coffee beans same day because this coffee helps us get shit done.

Q: Is this shitty coffee?
A: Hell no. It's the opposite. There's no shit involved in the harvesting or the roasting, and unless you're some sort of fucking weirdo, there's no shit involved in brewing it, either.

Q: Will this coffee make me poop?
A: "Poop"? Seriously? What are you, a toddler? Because that's a word a toddler would use because the little bugger isn't allowed to say "shit". But if the question is whether this coffee will make you shit, the answer is "probably". No more than any other coffee, though. 

Also, don't get this shit twisted; we're also the proud creative geniuses behind "Poop Disturber Baby Formula™", which is for actual babies, who actually shit. No matter what they eat. The little bastards can't help themselves.

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